In light of love month, let’s talk about why you might not feel all that loved in your friendships and romantic relationships at times...
I get it, you might be wondering what this has to do with self-improvement, and the answer is that once you understand what makes you feel most loved and learn the same about the people closest to you, you become not only more self-aware but more others-aware also. This will lead you to better understanding yourself and the people you love most. Let me explain...
Ever heard of the five love languages? They are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
Gary Chapman, author, and international public speaker points out a concept that has completely transformed relationships. It’s the idea that we typically express love in a way that resonates most with us. In other words, in the way we would most likely want to be shown love.
While this sounds good, let's take a look at it as an example. If I assume you feel most loved with a hug (physical touch) because that's what resonates with me, there will be a disconnect if you have a different love language. I might feel like I’m showing you all the love I can, but if you feel more loved by me helping to make a task lighter for you (Acts of Service), the hug won't resonate with you the same way it does for me.
The problem is that two people expressing love in different ways is like having a wall in between them. They can hear each other, but they can’t reach out to touch one another. This is where the disconnect creeps in.
This disconnect has left many people stranded in their relationships. While both people know they are loved, they don’t always feel that way and are left wondering why.
Once you learn about each other and understand what the person most appreciates, you have something stronger to build on than an assumption of what you think makes them feel loved.
I am a firm believer in practical applications, so HERE is an unaffiliated link to the official 5 Love Languages Quiz by Gary Chapman.
It’s applicable to both singles and people in relationships, and it will walk you through a series of questions to determine what your top love languages are. You will become more self-aware and better prepared to flourish the relationships most important to you. I dare you to do it.
Thank you for reading this post. I have no doubt you'll find value in taking the quiz. We're all different and understanding those differences is what equips us to love deeper. I wish you well in learning more about yourself. Much love. You're a gem.
Broken to Beautiful You. Where Your Pain Becomes Your Power.