We tend to think our friendships and relationships always need to be seamless because that means there's no friction. While at times, this is true, seamless moments, unfortunately, are not when growth happens.
The people who love you most are the ones who will hold your hand when you’re scared, comfort you when you’re sad, but also tell you when you’re wrong.
When you can do better
Most of us don't like criticism, even when it’s constructive. The problem is that not being open to hearing when we could be doing better means we stagnate. And at that point, the opportunity for growth falls away.
As much as we should show love to the people around us, and we should, love without the willingness to do the difficult thing and speak up when something needs attention isn’t really love.
Love says: I’ll speak kindly to you, be patient with you, and support you. However, it also says: I want what’s best for you. Sometimes what’s best for us is to hear that we have space to improve. Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but nobody ever said growing was easy.
When you disagree
Similar is when you disagree with someone you love. You have the option of just staying quiet or politely offering your objection. For some, the easier thing to do is stay quiet, but there’s nothing wrong with respectfully disagreeing.
In fact, when people humbly and openly bring different perspectives to the table, growth happens.
When you make a mistake
This is probably one of the most nerve-wracking moments because you could either cover it up or own up to it. And we both know what the easier of the two is. At the same time, the easy thing is not always the best thing.
Even when you build your friendship on being honest, speaking up when you make a mistake will still be terribly uncomfortable.
However, it prepares the way for an open, honest conversation that will build trust and lead to a closer and deeper connected relationship.
As we wrap up
Being honest to the point of discomfort with the people you love is difficult. And being open to hearing brutal honesty is no less tough. The real struggle, by far, is being able to receive what you give without defaulting to defending yourself.
One way you can start is by taking baby steps to be honest with yourself. When you notice something in yourself that could be better, actually acknowledge it and, with trial and error, try to do better.
Challenge:
1. Be more open to hearing constructive criticism.
2. Speak up when someone you love wants to improve and you see something.
3. If you don't have moments of discomfort, ask yourself why.
Iron sharpens iron. Surround yourself with people who make you better and expect to be uncomfortable in your closest circles.
Thank you for sharing your time with me today. I hope you found value in this last post for Love Month.
Here are some other love-inspired posts you might enjoy:
READ: Why You Should Make a list of what you want in Your Special Someone & HOW
READ: Why You Might Not Feel Loved in Your Closest Relationships
READ: Being Single Does Not Mean Loneliness
NEWS
There’s an opportunity to be a guest writer on this blog!
In the coming months, two themes we’ll see show up are improving your health and body as well as better understanding how relationships with our parents or lack of parents affect us.
If you would like to write about your experience with either of those topics, send me an email and we can talk about it! Looking forward to hearing from you.
And as always, you’re a gem!