One of my favorite proverbs is the simple yet powerful “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. In other words, one may say that opinion of attractiveness varies from person to person.
Some are empowered to know from a young age that they are beautiful and made without flaw. Yet, somehow over time, we tell ourselves that we are not attractive or even worse, we allow others to chime in as though their opinion of our attractiveness matters.
Nobody judges you as harshly as you do yourself
Years ago there was a Dove commercial where participants described themselves to an artist who would draw them based on their description of themselves without actually seeing them. All of the individuals described themselves harshly, emphasized their physical flaws, and found everything they could wrong with their appearance.
Next, each participant sat down with a stranger after which the stranger described their perception of the person to the artist. Interestingly, when both sketches were revealed, not only was the stranger’s description more accurate of the participants’ appearances but also more flattering.
To think that a stranger could describe your physical appearance more accurately is alarming but it may also suggest we tend to judge ourselves much harder than we realize.
Isn’t that easy to relate to? Can we agree that at times we may see flaws that don’t actually exist? Could we go so far as to say that if someone was only able to say mean or unappealing things about our appearance that it would actually say more about how they see themselves versus how we actually look?
How to find your own definition of beauty
1. Don’t allow others to sway your opinion. Get out of groupthink
Groupthink is another form of peer pressure in which others’ opinions persuade your decisions. The best example I can give would be the current trend of women trying to look like the next Kim Kardashian. Regardless of numerous people liking that body type, it doesn’t mean you have to. Everyone has a right to their preference.
2. Don’t go for the superficial or materialistic ideas
As King Solomon wrote: Beauty is fleeting. Worry about things that will last a lifetime such as good character, wisdom, or kind-heartedness.
Allowing yourself to be wooed by shallow charm, money, or expensive things will leave you short-handed. Why? Because none of it lasts nor matters at the end of the day. Beauty is further than skin deep.
3. Love yourself so you can know what you love about others
If you are content and know who you are as an individual it will be easier to identify beauty because you know what YOU like, what makes YOU happy, and what YOU need.
At the end of the day, it is so important for an individual to be honest with themselves and not allow others to sway their opinion.
Quite frankly I think you could miss out on true happiness by allowing mere words to dictate how you make decisions. What you think matters and how you choose to see the beauty of the world is important.
- Vernita Hubbard