In a world that is overwhelmingly obsessed with appearing confident on the outside, it can be easy to hide that in reality we are filled with insecurities and self-doubt. In fact, confidence can very well be an imitation like we talked about last week.
For others, however, their confidence can be genuine. It comes down to what's inside.
After all, whatever is on the inside is what will shine outward. The question is: What's left when all the stylish clothes, nails, hair, and makeup are stripped away?
Obviously, we want something good to shine outward, right? So let's talk about healthy versus unhealthy confidence.
Unhealthy Confidence
Making yourself feel better by looking down on someone else is an example of unhealthy confidence. And it's a big no-no.
Using someone else to make yourself feel better exposes how insecure you really are.
I get it though; naturally, many of us go about our day judging others, and sometimes it's purely subconscious, but is it helping anyone? Heck no, it’s not.
When you belittle people or judge them out of your own insecurities, you’re teaching your brain that it's okay. And this is far worse for you in the long-term than just dealing with your insecurities. In fact, it's harmful.
Healthy Confidence
The inside of you is the core of who you are, and from that place is where you will experience and do the things that you do.
If you build confidence on something superficial like a nice-looking body, what happens to your confidence if you get so sick you can't work out anymore?
Things that can too easily change tomorrow is not where your confidence should lie. And only after your confidence is rooted in something stable, by all means, keep building.
Practical Things to Do to Feel More Confident
I’ve always believed in practical tips. And if you do these things, not only will you simply appear more confident, but you will feel it too.
Ever heard of the power pose? It is a proven technique that lowers stress and makes you feel more confident. It's where you stand in a high power pose, like the wonder woman pose for 2 minutes, and it literally makes you feel less stressed and more confident. HERE is a 4-minute video explaining the results of a power pose study.
Just like how this pose makes you feel more bold and confident, here are some practical things you can do to make yourself more confident… the healthy kind.
1. Posture is everything
Stand up tall, shoulders back and chest out. When you stand confidently, you’ll feel confident.
2. Smile
Smiling releases endorphins that make you feel happy and when you feel happy, you’re more likely to feel confident.
3. Keep your hygiene in check
This one may seem very basic, but don't overlook it. Take regular showers, shave, wash your hair… and style it, and make sure you smell good. Don’t go drowning yourself in an entire bottle of perfume, but knowing you smell good will make you feel more confident.
4. Keep your clothes clean and neat-looking
Your clothes directly affect how you feel, and not just in the realm of style, but tidiness. Stains are a no-go. And get rid of those fuzz balls and pet hair. Clean and tidy clothes make a huge difference in your confidence.
While we're on it, it doesn't have to be fancy, but make sure your clothes flatter you. They shouldn't be too tight or too baggy. When you look good, you'll feel good and radiate confidence.
5. Exercise and pay attention to how you treat your body
The things you put the most effort and care into are usually what you value most. In other words, you'll value a body you've been keeping healthy more than one you have not.
It has nothing to do with how fit you are, but the fact is that the better you treat your body, the better you’ll feel about it and the more confident you will be carrying it around.
Takeaways
1. Take care of your foundation first.
2. Make sure your confidence isn't at the expense of someone else.
3. There will days where you don’t want to put in any effort, and occasionally, that's okay. But, it’s so worth it to put in the effort. It makes a world of difference on the days you do it compared to the days you don't... even if you’re just going to be home for the day. Putting in effort shouldn’t be for anyone else but you, anyway, so why not put some in when it’s just you?
The key is that if you do more things that make you feel confident, you genuinely become more confident.
Challenge:
Implement the tips we just talked about and put in the effort to feel all cute for 3 consecutive days ( guys, too) and see how that makes you feel.
If you are able to, start with day 1 being a sloppy day where you put in zero effort and pay attention to how different that makes you feel in comparison to the next two days with effort. Feel free to reach out to me. I'd love to know your findings.
Thank you for spending some time with me. I appreciate your support. I'd love to know how this site can better serve you. Feel free to reach out and send me topic suggestions for self-improvement or emotional healing. Have a gorgeous day further. Now go be a healthy and confident you. You're a gem.
Broken to Beautiful. Where Your Pain Becomes Your Power.