Have you ever set some crazy new year’s resolution just to find it fell through even before January 5th rolled around? Or, maybe, you managed to keep it going for a while but slowly found yourself losing the will to keep it up after a little bit. You're not the only one.
Resolutions without sustainable intentionality are just nice-sounding words that leave you feeling bad about yourself when you realize you couldn't keep up with them.
Where you should start is with introspection. Yes, I know, it’s a daunting word. However, if you go the extra mile to be vulnerable and honest with yourself, you might come to find that starting with this way will set you up to be in a place better than any year before.
So how does this introspection thing work?
It takes stopping for a moment and looking at all the things that went right and the things that went wrong in terms of your goals in this last year... the things within your control, obviously.
When you do this, consider how your actions or inactions have affected the outcome of those goals. Of course, be gracious with yourself, it is 2020 we’re talking about here.
Establishing Your Goals
1. Start with why and make it good
It’s easy to on a whim decide to make a big change, but why do you want to?
Before you do something you have to know why. For example, if you want to work out just because you know you probably should or just because you want to look nice, you will more than likely fail.
Working out regularly will test your mental toughness, so choosing to do it for a superficial reason is not sustainable because at some point, your willpower will sweat away.
However, if you choose to start working out because you have seen people in your family suffer from illness, you might realize you have only one body in which to live your life to the fullest, and taking care of your body will directly affect your ability to do that. And hey, your by-product? Probably an all-year-round summer body anyway, but you must first know why it's important to you.
2. Write it down
When it comes to resolutions and goals, as much as they will fade with superficial reasons, they will also fade if you forget you have them. By writing your goals down along with the why and keeping it in a place you can easily see, you will have the reminder to keep going when it gets tough.
3. Change the Game With What I Like to Call Life Check
Unfortunately, if you set new year's resolutions but don't check in on your progress, you will break them.
By periodically checking in with yourself, you can avoid ever so slowly falling off the bandwagon and forgetting why you set out to accomplish something in the first place.
Might I suggest introducing Life Check as you consider what you’d like to achieve, grow through, and improve on in this next year?
You Do This How Exactly?
I'm glad you asked:
1. Ask yourself what should you continue
Look at what you’re doing that’s working in accordance with your goals and also what adds value to your life. This comes down to the little things you do or decisions you make that get you closer to accomplishing your goals.
For example, are you a people-pleaser who’s been learning to say no when you really can’t? Keep saying no. It’s called having healthy boundaries, and healthy boundaries make for a healthier you.
Have you recently started exercising and love the way it makes you feel even though it’s so much easier to just stay in your warm cozy bed in the morning? Keep getting up.
It can be as simple as going to bed earlier, having quiet time, or Jesus Time as I like to call it, or even before running out of the door, reminding yourself you're beautiful and fully capable of anything you set your mind to. Try it. I dare you.
Not Happy? READ: The Antidote to Unhappiness
2. Ask yourself what should you stop doing
Here, consider everything you do or allow that takes you away from your goals.
Anything that makes you feel bad about yourself, your relationships, or your life likely falls into this category. Who should you spend less time with? What should you spend less time doing? What do you do that hinders your peace and moves you away from your goals? What habits should you replace?
3. Ask yourself what should you start doing instead
This is where you get to replace bad habits, choices, and mindsets, and ways of thinking with better ones. What new ways of thinking should you develop? What new habits might bring you closer to your goals?
For example, if you find your mornings stressful or all over the place as they are, try starting your day off peacefully with no social media until after breakfast. Or, if you feel rushed and bothered, finally stop that bad habit of hitting snooze every morning and whip your capable self into a good day.
Making the decision and following through with doing things that are good for you is easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere. It won't work out every day, but what will decide if you get you there is what you do after you fall.
I don’t know where you’re at, but I know there’s something you’d like to do better, so set the goal, do the work and check yourself. If you don’t do it, nobody else will.
Decide to make this next year a great one, stay focused, and periodically consider what’s working that you should continue, what’s limiting you that you should stop, and what you should start doing instead.
You are your greatest cheerleader, and also your greatest competitor.
Be better than the you from yesterday.
Broken to Beautiful. Where Your Pain Becomes Your Power.